How to Keep Up Family Morale During Lockdown
By Sarah Lewis, C.Psychol., Appreciating Change
When you have to deal with a major change it is stressful for everyone in the family, adults and children alike. It is hard not to feel anxious during the Covid-19 lockdown.
Unfortunately, the threat is real, and we can’t make it go away. What we can do is boost our resilience, finding ways to keep our spirits up.
Let me share some tips to help you and your family manage anxiety and feed your optimism.
Table of Contents
Have a chuckle
There is lots of evidence that laughing is good for our immune system and is a great coping mechanism in difficult times. You’ll know what tickles your family’s funny bones. When I need a chuckle I watch Tripp and Tyler: A Conference Call in Real Life on YouTube.
Start projects that take a while
Starting projects suggests an optimism about the future that becomes self-reinforcing. Uncertainty can paralyse us. By pro-actively starting a project we can break out of paralysis. Find things that family members have talked about doing but not started. Once you start you can admire your handiwork at the end of the day. Everyone will feel they are achieving something and moving forward.
The aim is to replace anxiety with optimism. A great science-based resource with ideas about how to do this is ‘Positran’s Positive Action Cards’ to help you improve your wellbeing.
Nutrition and exercise
Make sure your family eat healthily. Fruit and vegetables are good for immune system so have plenty. Exercise is very important for both mental and physical health. Put your face mask, keep social distancing, and go for an hour somewhere green where the kids can expend some energy. You could have a go at Joe Wicks ‘Seven days of sweat’ workout. Perhaps you could share the experience with some friends and all go online at the same time.
Experience Appreciative Living
Appreciative Living is all about seeing and seeking out the best of life. Despite everything, we can still appreciate the things that make life worth living. Developing an appreciative eye takes practice but the benefit to our health, well-being, and ability to remain pro-active in the face of threat, in fact to our resilience, is beyond question.
Jackie Kelm, the guru of Appreciative Living has some great videos on YouTube. You might also like the Appreciative Inquiry card pack, with pictures, quotes and questions.
Call friends
Social contact is very important for wellbeing. I suggest you try to speak to someone outside your home daily. Talk to friends about their plans for the day and what they are hoping to achieve during lockdown. You’ll help each other see positive aspects of the situation for you and your families.
Avoid overdoing the news
Following the news minute-by-minute is not likely to do you any good. So, take positive control and limit your daily diet. You might choose to read rather than watch the news. There is less ‘emotional contagion’ from the written word than from a person’s voice, so less transmission of anxiety.
Choose a ‘worry time’
Some of us are born worriers; suggestions of optimism only increase anxiety. If you are someone who finds worrying reassuring, try to limit it so it doesn’t become overwhelming. A time-honoured technique is ‘allowing’ yourself a specific allotted time to worry as much as you like (say 15-30 minutes). Write them in a ‘dear diary’ if you like. Or arrange a strictly focused and time limited phone call with another ‘worrywart’. And when your time is up, it’s up. Stop, close that box and move on with your day knowing you have another half-hour of worry time allocated tomorrow.
Try self-coaching
What can you do if you are feeling really stuck? Sometimes we just need to be asked a question that gives us a different take on the subject or causes us to make a new connection. You can achieve this with self-coaching. This will help move you into a more productive self-talk, that allows you find unexpected ways forward.
To get you started you could try the ‘Good Question Card’ pack from ‘At My Best’ which offers an excellent selection of coaching questions.
Counting your blessings
At the end of each day, identify three good things that have happened during the day and write them down. This will help train your brain to look for the positives amongst the gloom. Encourage other family members to do this too.
You can find lots of similar proven exercises in Vanessa Keys excellent book: 10 keys to happier living.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sarah Lewis C.Psychol., is the principal psychologist at Appreciating Change, a strengths-based psychological consultancy that is committed to applying well-researched positive psychology ideas and interventions to workplace challenges and opportunities at an individual, team or whole organization level.
Sarah is an associated fellow of the British Psychological Society, a principal member of the Association of Business Psychologists, and a member of the International Positive Psychology Association.
Sarah is an acknowledged Appreciative Inquiry and Positive Psychology expert, a regular conference presenter and author of ‘Positive Psychology at Work’ (Wiley), Positive Psychology and Change (Wiley), ‘Appreciative Inquiry for Change Management’ (KoganPage) and Positive Psychology in Business (Pavilion).
She also collects great positive psychology resources to support consultants, trainers and coaches in their work which are sold through the Positive Psychology online shop: https://www.thepositivepsychologyshop.com/
