My Support for Rainbow Baby Day

I can’t really remember the first time I heard the expression ‘Rainbow Baby’. I can remember loving the term though – and I can remember thinking that it would never apply to me. Until it did.

Our losses

Ross and I tried for nearly 4 years for a baby. In that time, we lost two. Two children that I still think of, despite the fact that they were only there for a fleeting moment. That we never got to see their faces.

I still remember the dates they would have been born and how old they might have been now. Even though I was just pregnant for around 7 to 8 weeks each time, they still become a part of your life. The ‘what if’s’ and ‘maybes’ don’t ever go away.

Don’t get me wrong, I never really feel sad anymore. It is more of an occasional melancholy which soon passes. But they are still remembered.

Rex, my extra special Rainbow Baby

When I found out that I would need egg donor IVF, I did wonder if I would or even could fall in love with a baby which wasn’t genetically part of me. But now I understand he is. He is more a part of me than I ever thought he would be.

I understand epigenetics far more now than I ever have done. Plus, that boy loves me so much. Yesterday morning, Ross got up with him at 6.15am but Rex bugged him with ‘mum mum mum’ so much that he appeared at my bedroom door at 7am and got into bed with me. How could I ever have doubted myself?! 

He is rewarding and exhausting in very equal measures. But I wouldn’t have it any other way! 

Showing support for Rainbow Baby Day

When Kicks Count told me that they were introducing a Rainbow Baby Day, I knew that I wanted to support them. They are remembering little lives that have been lost and supporting the ones which follow. 

They were there for me during my pregnancy with Rex. I used their app and I followed their literature. Had they been around when I was pregnant with Grace, I would have done similar. 

Given the losses I had previously had, I think I would have gone spare during my pregnancy! I was constantly paranoid that we would lose Rex and never get the child that we longed for.  Thanks to Kicks Count, I made it through my pregnancy a little saner than I had anticipated!

On Rainbow Baby day, Kicks Count are asking for support in the form of wearing colourful clothes, baking rainbow coloured treats or even applying bright and bold make-up (see my Instagram feed at some point today!) in a bid to raise a bit of money to help their charity.

Find out more over on their website – https://www.kickscount.org.uk/Event/rainbowbabyday

Please note that I was sent some rainbow items but I did not receive payment for this post. Kicks Count is a charity which I am happy to support and give my time to.