It’s Time to Start Giving Your Child More Independence

There are a lot of things that can scare a parent. Actually, let’s be totally honest, being a parent is 90% spending your time being absolutely terrified. But hey, that’s just something we all kind of get used to. However, if there’s one thing that scares more parents than just about anything else in the world, it’s the idea of their child growing up.

I find it amusing that this is the case because it’s one thing that you absolutely cannot stop them from doing no matter how much you might want to try. The truth is that your child is going to grow up whether you like it or not and there really is not a thing that you can do about it.

However, that doesn’t mean that you’re left utterly powerless. The truth is that the most important thing for you to do is to make sure that you’re supporting them as they grow and one of the most important ways to do that is by offering them more independence as they get older.

Of course, knowing how to do that isn’t always easy, but here are just a few things that you can try to help to offer your child the independence that they need as they get older.

A phone

One of the first signs that your child is starting to grow up and is feeling a little bit trapped by the lack of independence in their life is the first time that they ask for a phone.

In all likelihood, the first time your child asks for a phone they’re going to be far too young for it. Having a phone is a big responsibility and, in the modern era, it’s an even bigger one. After all, it’s not just a phone anymore. It’s a portable computer that is always connected to the internet, giving them access to all kinds of social media and other websites. These are things that can actually be kind of harmful to a lot of kids who aren’t ready to deal with it.

So what age you let your child have a phone is up to your discretion but the key is to make sure that you’re paying attention to exactly what kinds of things they’re doing with their phone. That doesn’t necessarily mean monitoring it all the time, but maybe think about adjusting their plan so that they’re not spending huge amounts of time (and money) staring at the internet.

As they get older those plans can change and for college students, things like https://smarty.co.uk/blog/student-sim can be perfect. As always, it’s a choice that needs to be left up to you but it’s also something you should be talking to your child about.

Driving

Can you honestly imagine anything more terrifying in the world than the little person that you have raised since the day they were born getting behind the wheel of a two-ton machine and start racing down the road at high speeds? Of course not! However, most parents are acutely aware that this is a stage that their child will reach at some point and trying to stand in the way of it is pretty much pointless.

After all, we live in a world where pretty much all of us need a car and denying your child that is just going to cause them problems in the long run. The key is, as with so many things, being cautious but putting your trust in your child. You can be there when they’re learning but also learn when to step back. After all, you’ve raised them well, they’re not suddenly going to turn into a total road hog just because they get their licence!

Staying Out

You’ve probably watched your child go off to sleep pretty much every night since the day they were born. Because of that, the first time that they tell you that they want to stay out late or not even come home that night at all, it can be truly terrifying.

Whether they’re going to be out late at a concert or they’re having their first sleepover with a friend, it can be a truly scary moment for any parent. However, as with most things, this is a very important milestone for a child and it’s one that it’s never a good idea to stand in the way of.

Keep in contact but don’t end up smothering them and ruining what is a pretty important moment in their life.

Their first relationship

Ah, young love. It’s something we’ve all experience and, because of that, most of us are pretty aware that it very rarely works out. However, your child doesn’t know that and it’s very easy for a young person to throw themselves into a relationship and feel like a break-up is the end of the world. Sadly, you can’t really stop this as a parent. If you try to stand in the way, it’s just going to cause more issues. All you can really do is support them and be there when things, almost inevitably, don’t turn out with a fairytale ending.

Of course, it’s important to remember that it’s not just a matter of giving them independence. Independence on its own can actually be kind of dangerous for a lot of kids. For one thing, it’s the kind of thing that can be easily abused when kids are still coming to terms with their own limits. If you tell a child that they no longer have a bedtime then they’re not suddenly going to decide to go to bed at a sensible time because it’s what’s best for them, they’re going to stay up so late that they make themselves utterly miserable.

Kids, even older ones and teenagers, need boundaries. They actually want them, even if they think that they don’t. Finding the right balance between offering independence and providing the boundaries that they need is rarely an easy thing to achieve but it’s something that is incredibly important. Sure, you might not be able to get the balance perfectly right away, but as long as you’re always trying, that’s all you can really do.

This is a collaborative post