Pulling Together As a Family

Pulling Together As a Family

I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am that Rex arrived so close to the summer holidays. The first 8 weeks have been extremely testing ones so, the fact that we don’t have to get up for an alarm, the fact that Ross is (loosely) working from home and that I am on maternity leave are all conspiring to make things a heck of a lot easier.

A family system

On Friday I asked for some advice over on my Facebook page as Rex had been diagnosed with reflux (more of that to follow in his two month update). Because of this, I have been getting little next to no sleep every night as I cannot put Rex down for more than 10 minutes without him crying.

Between us, Ross, Grace and I have all bases covered. I have to admit that there is some bickering which I find understandable given the fact that things can be a bit stressful. But, on the whole, we are there for each other and I find it very supportive.

The night time routine

The reflux situation means that I am currently sleeping with Rex in the spare room (I use the term ‘sleeping’ very loosely!). I give Rex an evening feed at about 7pm and then he sleeps on me (9 times out of 10), in the carrycot or in the baby carrier. At around 10.30pm, Ross starts to get Rex’s bottle ready (we are combination feeding) and then at 11pm we take him upstairs.

Ross changes Rex’s nappy and I get ready for bed. I usually get something ready to watch on my iPad as I know that, after his bottle, I will have to keep Rex upright for at least 30 minutes to help wind him. Then the night time is down to me. However, Ross ALWAYS says to me to come and get him if I need help. I try my best to leave him to get a full night’s sleep though.

The morning routine

At around 7am, depending on feed times, Ross takes Rex off downstairs with him and leaves me to get an hour or two of sleeping. That is not always easy when the rest of the world is getting up but I do my best to cut myself some slack and try not to feel guilty for being in bed. For some reason, ever since I was a teenager, I have not been able to lie in as I feel bad for letting the day get away from me and not achieving anything!  I generally put the radio on as, for some reason, I find it helps.

When I get up, I take over with Rex – although Grace is there at the moment to support and help me. She fetches and carries, makes lunch and holds Rex where necessary. She helps me with bathing and changing his nappy – although she is still reluctant on the dirty ones! Ross is usually working.

The afternoon routine

This usually varies depending on how tired I am and how much sleep I have had in the morning. There are occasions when Ross can’t take over in the morning – mainly because he is working. Ross and Grace can sometimes take Rex in the afternoon whilst I go back upstairs to bed. This then means I am prepared for the night shift. If not, I usually push on through the day and add in a few extra cups of coffee! 

Evenings

At the moment Ross is cooking dinner as I generally tend to be feeding Rex. Grace fetches and carries and is there for both Ross and I. I usually eat dinner one-handed and then Rex falls asleep on me – after trying to fight it! Grace goes up to bed at around 8.45/9pm and then Ross and I watch one of our box set programmes.

And so it begins again! 

I have to say that I do not know what I am going to do when school starts again but for now, I am counting my blessings on having a family which pulls together. 

The Ordinary Moments
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16 Comments

  1. August 26, 2017 / 3:08 pm

    Oh poor Rex although it sounds like you have it all covered with a great family set up. I hope that the reflux gets better you as he gets older and the introduction of the school run doesn’t mess up your routines too much. X #ordinarymoments

  2. August 24, 2017 / 8:26 pm

    Oh wow, it sounds so full on and I’d almost forgotten what having a newborn was like! It sounds like the holidays came at just the right time and I hope things settle down soon – and you manage to get a good chunk of sleep! x

  3. August 24, 2017 / 7:00 pm

    I breastfed and had an awful time with major weight loss for Jacob and no sleep for 10 weeks when he was diagnosed with acute Reflux. We were then advised to add baby gaviscon to his milk which improved things slightly (he kept 20% of each feed down) in the end we couldnt cope with his unsettled and crankiness because he was starving all the time so after another 5/6 weeks I went onto specialist Reflux milk and he turned a corner and even though i was gutted at using formula i know it made a difference to him and he gained weight and started to less cranky.

    Good luck with Rex’s reflux journey and the one thing we thing did help other than formula feeding reflux milk was a wedge from Babymoov that raised him up slightly instead of being laid flat on his back
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  4. August 24, 2017 / 6:19 pm

    Oh no I hope he is still starting to feel a bit better soon. I was very lucky as Fred didn’t get it but both my niece and nephew have suffered and I know how hard it can be.

  5. August 24, 2017 / 8:57 am

    I’ve heard so many people recently talking about their children suffering with reflux, its bad enough for adults but must be awful in a little baby 🙁
    You are so lucky to have the support behind you, I would have been lost had it been me.

    You & your family are strong & you working out ways to make the best out of a hard situation is brilliant!
    I hope you find a little miracle way of easing this reflux 🙁

  6. August 23, 2017 / 10:45 pm

    What a lovely supportive family you have. It can be so tough when you are not getting any sleep and are exhausted My son had silent reflux and he slept intermittently until he was 10 months, it was really hard and i was so tired but having my husband willing to help and helping me where he could we got through it. I often went back to bed for an hour between feeds on weekend mornings to catch up on some sleep.

  7. August 23, 2017 / 6:16 pm

    Oh sorry to hear little man has a reflux! Must be so exhausting but so lovely you have you husband and daughter there to help! xx

  8. August 23, 2017 / 3:58 pm

    All mine suffered from terrible colic so I sympathise with you. With my oldest, I never knew what was happening and she would cry every evening. It was very upsetting.
    So glad you have all the support you need. xx

  9. August 22, 2017 / 11:43 pm

    Ahh I totally sympathise. Megan had such terrible reflux and spent the first year of her life in and out of hospital. I had a one year old Eva, an eight year old Lewis and was pregnant with Harry, and had it not been for us pulling together as a family I’m not sure we would have made it!

  10. August 22, 2017 / 8:29 pm

    I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to get everything running smoothly again with a newborn but it sounds like you’ve got a good system around you and are balancing it out! Hope the reflux starts to get better!

  11. August 21, 2017 / 10:01 pm

    Sending so much love to you, my youngest struggled a lot with reflux for a long time, I’ve written a lot about it on my blog, if you ever want to talk please do feel free to message me. It does get easier I promise x

  12. August 21, 2017 / 7:07 pm

    Aww reflux sounds awful you poor things. Glad you have a supportive network though. x

  13. Natasha Kendall
    August 21, 2017 / 3:37 pm

    Sounds like a lot of work! I’m definitely not ready for kids yet. Sounds like you guys are getting to grips with a routine that works for you, which is great 🙂

  14. August 21, 2017 / 8:43 am

    It sounds like really hard work, but lovely that Ross and Grace are being so helpful and supportive. Grace sounds like a real godsend. Here’s hoping Rex is more settled by the time she goes back to school. X
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  15. August 20, 2017 / 7:13 pm

    Oh you poor things. Freya suffered with silent reflux and then reflux. It was truly awful (for her and me). I’m sure you’ve had loads of advice but there’s a great Facebook group (babies with reflux and silent reflux) I would highly recommend. I wouldn’t have got through it without their support. Always at the end of an email if you want a chat.
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