Today I reach the ripe old age of 46. Little did I imagine, way back in my younger years when my mind started to turn towards marriage and babies, that I would be sitting here writing about being pregnant at 46 years old. My life hasn’t quite gone the way I thought it would but, then, does anyone’s? I guess, as Jeff Goldblum once uttered, ‘Life…er… finds a way’.
During my teenage years, I thought being in your forties was ancient! Oh, how little did I know. I guess I thought about age a bit more back then. You always wanted to show off for being older than your peers – now it is quite a different story.
What others think
Quite frankly I really don’t care what others think but there are little parts of me and my self-doubt that occasionally become slightly concerned. Until I hit my forties I was always someone who cared about what others think – much to my own detriment sometimes. It meant I didn’t push myself.
As I’ve got older and more confident, this mindset has changed for the better. I think this blog has been a type of therapy there too. There have been others who have criticised me. Querying the fact that I should be having a baby ‘at my age’, saying it is selfish and that I’m not thinking of the child and how it might be affected by me being older. Saying that I should focus on the one I have already. Others have remained obviously silent. Everyone is entitled to an opinion I guess. Quite frankly they really shouldn’t judge someone until they have walked a mile in their shoes. They don’t know the full story of my life!
I have to say, I can’t see an awful lot of these as I’m generally a positive person. Negativity only serves to bring you down further, especially if you are already at a low point. I have found that I’m far less active during my pregnancy this time around. I find that I get tired, emotional and irritable far more easily. Thankfully I have Ross and Grace to support me, plus I have the benefit of working from home (You see? A positive spin!).
Unlike Ross, I don’t see age in myself nor in others. For example, at the antenatal class, he looked around the room and carried out a comparison on who was what age. It is extremely likely that I was the oldest woman there but, I don’t see it because I wasn’t looking. I can never judge people’s ages – mainly because it is something that doesn’t bother me. Age is something I don’t see. I just see people, some with more life experience than others!
Now this is the section where I see loads. Firstly, it completes my life and my family aspirations. I know, had I reached my 50s and not had a second child, I would’ve felt incomplete. I never thought I’d leave it this late in life but it was really circumstance which dictated that. Some of which I did have a hand in, but I can’t dwell on that.
I recently started to read an article about having children in your forties and how it deterred the onset of dementia. Unfortunately I didn’t finish reading it and haven’t been able to find it again so I don’t know how proven it is. What I will say though is I can kind of understand how and why.
Since being pregnant, people have continually told me how well and how young I look. It has made me feel more youthful – and the condition of my hair has never been so good! I’m also aware that, not only will I be caring for a newborn, but he will be growing and going through all the stages of development and I firmly believe that this will serve to keep me young. Of course, running around after a toddler will also help to keep me fit!
On top of all this, age comes with experience. I was told I was an ‘older mum’ when I was expecting Grace at the age of 35, so you can only imagine what people are probably calling me this time. Geriatric I’m guessing! I have to say though, I think it has served me well. I feel that my life experience means that this has helped me to be a better mum to Grace and I have no doubt it will do the same for our son.
How I’m going to help myself
There are a number of things that having this baby has made me more determined to do. The first two are the main ones. These are to ensure I stay fit and healthy. To survive to see my children grow for as long as I possibly can. I also want to continue to try and make a success of my life. Not only to set a good example but also to make sure I live life to the full. To show my children how to be the best you you can be.