Thoughts on Being Pregnant at 46 Years Old

Thoughts on Being Pregnant at 46 Years Old

Today I reach the ripe old age of 46. Little did I imagine, way back in my younger years when my mind started to turn towards marriage and babies, that I would be sitting here writing about being pregnant at 46 years old. My life hasn’t quite gone the way I thought it would but, then, does anyone’s?  I guess, as Jeff Goldblum once uttered, ‘Life…er… finds a way’.

During my teenage years, I thought being in your forties was ancient! Oh, how little did I know. I guess I thought about age a bit more back then. You always wanted to show off for being older than your peers – now it is quite a different story.

Me at 23 years old.

What others think

Quite frankly I really don’t care what others think but there are little parts of me and my self-doubt that occasionally become slightly concerned. Until I hit my forties I was always someone who cared about what others think – much to my own detriment sometimes. It meant I didn’t push myself.

As I’ve got older and more confident, this mindset has changed for the better. I think this blog has been a type of therapy there too. There have been others who have criticised me. Querying the fact that I should be having a baby ‘at my age’, saying it is selfish and that I’m not thinking of the child and how it might be affected by me being older. Saying that I should focus on the one I have already. Others have remained obviously silent. Everyone is entitled to an opinion I guess. Quite frankly they really shouldn’t judge someone until they have walked a mile in their shoes. They don’t know the full story of my life!

Mothers Day

The drawbacks

I have to say, I can’t see an awful lot of these as I’m generally a positive person. Negativity only serves to bring you down further, especially if you are already at a low point.  I have found that I’m far less active during my pregnancy this time around. I find that I get tired, emotional and irritable far more easily. Thankfully I have Ross and Grace to support me, plus I have the benefit of working from home (You see? A positive spin!).

Unlike Ross, I don’t see age in myself nor in others. For example, at the antenatal class, he looked around the room and carried out a comparison on who was what age.  It is extremely likely that I was the oldest woman there but, I don’t see it because I wasn’t looking. I can never judge people’s ages – mainly because it is something that doesn’t bother me. Age is something I don’t see. I just see people, some with more life experience than others!

The benefits

Now this is the section where I see loads. Firstly, it completes my life and my family aspirations. I know, had I reached my 50s and not had a second child, I would’ve felt incomplete. I never thought I’d leave it this late in life but it was really circumstance which dictated that. Some of which I did have a hand in, but I can’t dwell on that.

I recently started to read an article about having children in your forties and how it deterred the onset of dementia. Unfortunately I didn’t finish reading it and haven’t been able to find it again so I don’t know how proven it is. What I will say though is I can kind of understand how and why.

Since being pregnant, people have continually told me how well and how young I look. It has made me feel more youthful – and the condition of my hair has never been so good! I’m also aware that, not only will I be caring for a newborn, but he will be growing and going through all the stages of development and I firmly believe that this will serve to keep me young. Of course, running around after a toddler will also help to keep me fit!

On top of all this, age comes with experience. I was told I was an ‘older mum’ when I was expecting Grace at the age of 35, so you can only imagine what people are probably calling me this time. Geriatric I’m guessing! I have to say though, I think it has served me well. I feel that my life experience means that this has helped me to be a better mum to Grace and I have no doubt it will do the same for our son.

How I’m going to help myself

There are a number of things that having this baby has made me more determined to do. The first two are the main ones. These are to ensure I stay fit and healthy. To survive to see my children grow for as long as I possibly can. I also want to continue to try and make a success of my life. Not only to set a good example but also to make sure I live life to the full. To show my children how to be the best you you can be.

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32 Comments

  1. Amy
    June 19, 2017 / 4:12 pm

    Congratulations on your news! Babies need loving parents, age doesn’t come into it, and yet we constantly feel the pressure of time hanging over us as woman. You are an inspiration xx

  2. May 23, 2017 / 11:05 am

    I love this! I definitely am getting better at caring less what people think of me, I’m not quite there with it and have some work to do. As when I do let it bother me, it really affects me and not in a good way. You look amazing, are amazing and your baby is incredibly lucky to be born into an amazing family. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
    Laura – Dear Bear and Beany recently posted..Living Arrows 21/52 {2017}My Profile

  3. May 22, 2017 / 4:50 pm

    I love your positivity! Everyone’s circumstances are different and there is no one-size-fits all when it comes to having a baby. I was judged a young mum when I had my first and there were a few raised eyebrows, but it was the right time for us and I have no regrets. I love that you are expecting in your 40s, and I can totally see how having young children helps you to stay young and avoid dementia. Fab post! And congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the #blogcrush linky! #blogcrush
    Lucy At Home recently posted..Blogcrush Week 14 – 19th May 2017My Profile

  4. Olivia
    May 21, 2017 / 9:26 pm

    Hi Victoria
    I have been trying to have a baby since I was 28 yrs. Now at 42 yrs + all the odds stacked against me I continue to work towards the goal. An unsuccessful fresh donor egg attempt at 41 yrs now trying frozen embryo transfer.I am thankful for your story to give me hope.

  5. May 21, 2017 / 8:58 am

    Age is just a number – it might mean that there are potential complications which need a little extra monitoring but it doesn’t change the type of parent you are and will be and I don’t think being an older mum-to-be is selfish at all. It’s clear that your baby is extremely wanted and loved and will grow up in a wonderful loving family. That’s the most important thing. I’m thrilled for you that you’re having another baby x

  6. May 20, 2017 / 4:02 pm

    My auntie had my cousin in her late forties, nearly twenty years later and she’s still really youthful, in fact we’ve just got back from a girly holiday to celebrate her 60th and she was partying well in the night! #sharingthebloglove
    Toni | This Mama Blogs recently posted..SLIMMING WORLD MEAL PLAN | 15TH MAY 2017My Profile

  7. May 20, 2017 / 9:27 am

    I think it’s wonderful and I’m sure your experience will come in handy. My best friends mum had a baby just before I had Rory. She was 45 at the time. While she said it was definitely more tiring than the first two times she said it’s almost like it’s give her a new lease on life #sharingthebloglove
    Becky – MommyandRory recently posted..Less Like a Mommy and More Like a Daddy?My Profile

  8. May 19, 2017 / 7:08 pm

    Love the positivity. I had my eldest at 39 and was told I was an old mum but felt so energised throughout pregnancy I felt a new lease of life. Children definitely keep us younger. Congrats, you look fab #sharingthebloglove
    Andrea @ Topsy Turvy Tribe recently posted..The City of CadizMy Profile

  9. May 19, 2017 / 3:26 pm

    It’s great being an older mum..and yes, I was called geriatric when I was last pregnant and got all the special attention that ‘at risk’ pregnancies get. I do remember one time though when I’d gone in for blood and the nurse was filling in my forms before she’d even looked at me. Then she turned around and then quickly turned back to her paper work, checked my name, then remarked ‘I was expecting you to look so much older!’ I took it as a compliment.
    BTW, I’ve met you many times but hadn’t realised your age!
    I’ve had 3 babies in my 40s and sometimes I think I was crazy and other times I count my blessings. Because that’s what they are blessings.
    I know how much you wanted this baby and your life is going to feel so complete xxx
    Anne recently posted..Word of the Week – TreatsMy Profile

  10. May 19, 2017 / 12:44 pm

    What a beautiful spirit you have. I loved it when you said
    Age is something I don’t see. I just see people, some with more life experience than others!
    I feel like that too! Beautifully put. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

  11. May 19, 2017 / 11:32 am

    I’m so pleased this is all happening for you! I think as we get older we naturally start to care less about what other people think, especially where it just doesn’t concern them at all! You’re looking amazing, and this baby is so lucky to come into a family that will love him so much. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  12. May 19, 2017 / 11:01 am

    Such amazing news. I recently ran a post about what others think about having a child close to 50 and it was amazing to see how supportive everyone was. I think the part about it completing your life and family aspirations is really the icing on the cake. I’m looking forward to hearing how it feels second time around later on in life I know many have said it has made them a more relaxed parent. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub my love x

  13. May 19, 2017 / 7:11 am

    I just talked about aging this week because I turned 34. I am not worried about getting older, I instead trying to embrace each year. Congrats! #BlogCrush

  14. May 18, 2017 / 8:53 pm

    Beautiful and wonderful news. Really glad for you. Sod the haters. Also you’re giving women like me, single and fast approaching forty, the hope that something may lay in wait for us yet. I’ve written about how much Id love another kid and I can totally relate to the hitting 50 and feeling incomplete. Good luck with the pregnancy.

  15. May 18, 2017 / 2:19 pm

    I’m just happy it has finally happened for you Vicky! I love your attitude and agree you shouldn’t view people on their age. I have loads of friends who are in their forties with young children so I think it’s quite normal in my little sphere. I’m actually more surprised when someone tells me they are in their 20s and have children. Things are really shifting and one day it won’t even be a talking point! All the best with the rest of the pregnancy. xx

  16. May 18, 2017 / 1:50 pm

    What a great attitude you have. It’s your life and your body. No one can tell you how to live your life. Congratulations and good luck xxx #ablogginggoodtime

  17. May 18, 2017 / 9:03 am

    What a lovely post. You have so much experience and so much love and you will make an amazing mum second time around, just as you have first time around.
    Happy birthday! X
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted..Me and my running wardrobeMy Profile

  18. Catherine Pitman
    May 18, 2017 / 8:13 am

    Hi Vicky we should talk! As you know I found myself pregnant at 40 and now have a bubbly lovely little Girl who is now 5 years old. I have no regrets – I think because we are older we are financially secure, wiser (at times) parents and as it was my second much more relaxed thus enjoy her more. Forget everyone else – Darren has his own child which he really wanted but the added bonus of a step daughter mirror image of you & Ross. One thing I do know is life is too short you need to grab happiness when you can. There are always those who need to judge…they will do that whatever you do not have to explain yourself to them. Only downer was lack of sleep has been harder this time which can only be age you can’t have it all can you?

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