I know many people are going to look at their year as a whole. I don’t want to do that. We have made many memories over the last year as a family, some not so great but, on the whole, they have been good and positive. What I want to do is reflect on December 2014 and how it has changed me once again. For the better.
Firstly I would like to say thank you to every single person who commented on my baby loss post. Your words of sympathy, support and encouragement meant the world to Ross and I and they gave us a great source of comfort at such a difficult time. On the whole I am a positive person but the miscarriage in 2013 affected me more than I realised and threw me onto a path of semi-negativity. I found everything was hard work – but this month that changed when I realised that I could get pregnant again and, despite the second loss, I have managed to get my positivity back in full. I have realised that this isn’t going to happen unless I work for it. But I think that the main reason for the return of my positive attitude was down to the support we received. If anyone is in doubt of whether or not they want to share their feelings then, to me, this is proof that you should. Once again, thank you.
I had started to improve my diet during November and was about to start a new exercise regime. Of course this understandably went a bit awry! January means a fresh start and a renewed vigour into getting where I want to be with my health. So you see all that has happened couldn’t really have come at a better time.
Over the course of 2014 my smile was a little more weary. December has fixed that for so many reasons. Whilst the beginning put us to the test, it helped me to re-evaluate what was important in my life. It’s not about my Klout score or whether or not people like me! That is something I realise I can’t really control. No. what matters is my family.
The other great thing about December is how much closer I feel to Ross and Grace. The loss was not the only thing to put us to the test. I have seen Grace stand up for herself and be positive and honest with her feelings. She is growing into someone who will be empathetic without the potential of being used or manipulated. As a result, Ross and I have high expectations for her in the hope that she will form positive, healthy relationships.
The Christmas period has meant more than ever to me this year. Many things have opened my eyes and I am not standing for negativity nor people who bring me down anymore – whomever they may be. Over the last week and a half I have formed wonderful memories of my time with Ross and Grace and the people who matter most to me. We have spent this month holding each other – both physically and metaphorically – and we all feel that we can take on whatever 2015 is going to throw at us and deal with it in a stronger, wiser and much calmer way.