The Importance of Teaching Loyalty and Fairness.

The Importance of Teaching Loyalty and Fairness.

Crikey, where do I start?! This subject is huge in my eyes and is something that I have tried to maintain in myself throughout my life and, in turn, teach to Grace. I love quotes and this is one of my favourites:


To really understand loyalty and fairness, there are many lessons that we need to help teach our children in a build up to these qualities. As soon as Grace was born I started to teach her manners. I think that this is a good place to start. Firstly I did it by setting an example and then, by making sure I said ‘ta’ to her whenever I gave her something so that she started to understand ‘thank you’. Then as she reached for things, I would repeat the word ‘please’. Now she is 7 she gets many compliments when we take her out for how polite she is.

Next it was teaching her what is right and what is wrong. There is a number of instances I can recall.


The first one was at nursery. Grace was 4. She and another child decided to disappear into the toilets and take the blu tack off the walls! She got reprimanded and, unlike the other parent, when I came to pick her up I supported the the teaching assistants in what they had done. On the drive home I asked her why she had done it and discussed why it was wrong. She told me that the other child had made her. I didn’t tell her off again, the nursery had done that, but I did want her to understand what she had done and what it would have been better to have chosen to do.

The second incident was a little worse. She bit another child when she was in reception. I didn’t know until the morning after when, as we were walking into school, she told me that she had been in time out the day before. I asked her why but she didn’t want to tell me. I didn’t push the issue. So I asked the teacher once she was out of earshot and they explained. 

When she came home that evening. I sat her down whilst Ross disappeared into the kitchen. We were running a star chart for her at the time. I asked her why she had bitten this boy and she told me that he had made her angry. We discussed why it was wrong and what she should do if he was doing this to her. She got it. I then told her that I was taking 7 stars off of her chart. She was mortified. But I really felt like we had had a proper discussion about it and that she had learned a lesson.


The final incident I can recall is probably the biggest one. Grace had two friends who she played with in Year 1, however, they went off and played together a lot so I regularly suggested to Grace that she might like to find other people to play with. Then she told me that one of the girls was starting to hurt her. I had a good enough relationship that I could discuss it with her Mum and then we went into school together. Anyway, it transpired that Grace was inflating the story and the child hadn’t been hurting her. Grace was just sore that they wouldn’t play with her so she made up the fact that they were hurting her physically. This lead to a major discussion in our house about physical and emotional hurt and why it was different. Ross and I were very annoyed with her. We made sure that Grace called the child and her Mum and apologised to them both over the phone. Grace also wrote the child a card. Another lesson learned.

The reason I say all this? It is because that I believe that the lessons that we teach Grace about what is right and wrong will impact on to loyalty and fairness. She is growing up to be a sympathetic child. Understanding that everyone is different and caring for those people who might be a bit different. She told me the other day that another child in her class was being called ‘Nit Girl’. She went over and made sure she was OK. Then, another child was trying to encourage her to bully one of the others. Grace refused and told the girl why it was wrong. We are very proud of the person she is becoming.


This all goes towards treating people with respect, playing nicely and being loyal and fair. I was pleased to hear that NatWest Bank are starting to pay more attention to their loyal customers rather than spend their time and energy on tracking down new ones. I find that so many banks try hard to obtain new customers and spend less energy on the ones they already have. This goes against the moral values as far as I am concerned. Their new campaign, Hello/Goodbye means they are waving goodbye to great offers targeted just for new customers and farewell to 0% teaser rates that cost more in the long run. They are no longer hiding the best deals online and they are welcoming a simpler, clearer and fairer style of banking. Take a look at their new video to see what I mean! 

I think it is about time that all businesses treated their loyal customers like this, kindly and with fairness. I hope that Grace grows up to work for and, eventually, run a business like this.

I’m working with BritMums and NatWest on this project and have been compensated. All words and opinions are my own. 

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  1. November 1, 2014 / 8:12 am

    A very nice example! I am always aiming for my son to grow with polite and fair. Nice occasions on how to apply teaching of the two subjects =)
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  2. November 1, 2014 / 7:30 am

    Taking the time to teach our children right from wrong in a reasonable manner can only be a good thing and the younger we start the better. Manners and kindness don’t cost a thing and time spent talking and listening to our children about these things is time well spent.

    It makes me cringe when I hear parents dismissing bad/unfair behaviour in children by saying they are too young to know any different; they maybe young, but learning starts from the day they are born. And there is nothing nicer than having your child complimented for their manners.

    If all parents took the time the world would be a better place, full of well balanced people.
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  3. October 31, 2014 / 7:51 pm

    Fab post. I agree, it is so important to teach respect and proper old values. Grace sounds lovely.x #PoCoLo
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  4. Izzie Anderton
    October 31, 2014 / 4:49 pm

    Couldn’t agree more! It’s so important to teach our kids about the importance of good manners so that they can grow up to be responsible adults.
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  5. Emma
    October 31, 2014 / 2:55 pm

    This is a wonderful post and I completely agree with you – manners and politeness are a major thing in my book and one of the main things I will be concentrating on when the little one comes! Grace sounds like a lovely little girl!

    Emma |
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  6. October 31, 2014 / 12:06 pm

    I totally agree with all you. I definitely want to instil all this in Monkey and hope I am tough enough to follow through. I have tried to sit down and explain to him the difference between wrong and right – and start as I mean to go on! Good Natwest are concentrating on their existing clients. I have had a nightmare with some banks so much so I’ve found business elsewhere.
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  7. October 31, 2014 / 9:43 am

    I so agree with you on the importance of teaching our children good manners and right from wrong. I’m a bit of a stickler for please and thank you – it was one of the earlier signs Jessica learned when she was little and now she is 3, she is very good at saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ (and have been very chuffed lately when she now asks ‘may I?’). Sounds like you handled those three examples in a very constructive way and Grace sounds like she is a lovely little girl. Glad to see also that at least one bank is starting to pay attention to their existing customers and not just trying to attract new ones – their video is a good way of illustrating this.

  8. Andy
    October 29, 2014 / 7:50 am

    Great examples. I think explaining why something is right/wrong is so important rather than just telling them it is or isn’t. That’s what lays the foundation for making their own better decisions later on.
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  9. Mari
    October 28, 2014 / 2:07 pm

    Great post Victoria and thank goodness one of our banks is finally changing the way they work and looking after their long standing customers.
    Commenting for myself and BritMums

  10. October 27, 2014 / 10:31 pm

    I so agree with you about teaching children right and wrong from early on. Good behaviour, manners, and treating others right costs nothing but makes a big difference to lots of people.

    I remember slapping my best friend once when we were about 10, because she wasn’t playing fairly. I’m still friends with her now, but she says she doesn’t remember it (thankfully, and I don’t usually go round hitting people). But I’m still big on being fair to others and playing things by the book.

    I’m pleased that our nursery have similar ways to dealing with misbehaviour as we do at home, so it makes it easier. I’m pleased that N seems to recognised even at only 3.5y, how upset others might be, and how they might want a hug to make them feel better. That’s all nursery, although he is generally quite huggy anyway.

    Grace sounds like a lovely young girl. She’s obviously going to be a credit to both of you.
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  11. October 27, 2014 / 12:03 pm

    Great idea by Natwest there – brilliant. Might have to reconsider my 18 year + relationship with HSBC who have done precious little to retain my loyalty in the last decade!!!
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