Looking back at my thirties.

Looking back at my thirties.

SCAN0041I turned 30 back in the year 2001. Geri Halliwell was number one with ‘It’s Raining Men’ (no, I didn’t like it either), Sven-Goran Eriksson became manager of the England football team, the foot and mouth crisis hit, the Eden Project opened, the Twin Towers were attacked by Al-Qaeda and the first Harry Potter film opened.  I didn’t want to be in my thirties. In fact, I hated it. I cried. For almost 6 months. Then it suddenly hit me. What was my problem? I still had LOADS of years ahead of me and so much to do and suddenly I loved my age! Two of the sayings that I regularly use are that things happen for a reason and that it is better to regret the things I have done, than the things I haven’t. However, if I could change anything, would I? 

Well, the answer to that is simple. Yes. But not everything. The main thing I would have changed was my relationship. I would have left so much sooner and found a man who treated me with respect but alas, that wasn’t to be and there is something wonderful that came out of my mid-thirties. Grace. She is an old head on young shoulders who is starting now to understand her emotions far better than I did at her age. She is starting to realise who she is and what she wants and Ross and I are keen to encourage her. 

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When I was 32 I changed my career completely. At the time I was working in an office dealing with housing relocation and repossession. It was something I totally stopped enjoying and so, when it was suggested to me that I might like to become a driving instructor, I chose a course which I believed would help me. It didn’t, not really. Much of it I could have done myself and all that happened was that it cost me a bunch of money. I really have made some bad financial decisions in my life so I do wish I could go back and change those. But the best decision I did make with my driving instructor training was meeting John Farlam and using his SmartDriving course. That man was a godsend.

My thirties were a mixed bag of ups and downs. Qualifying as a Driving Instructor and giving me the freedom of self-employment was wonderful. Then, just before I turned 36, I found out I was pregnant. The main lows came towards the end of my thirties as I went through hell with my ex at the same time as being in heaven with having had Grace. Talk about mixed emotions! 

I don’t believe that anyone can predict your future in full but I have been known to consult psychics in the past, such as thecircle.com. They gave me comfort and, to me, it felt like a type of counselling. There was one lady who I regularly spoke to. Her name was Sheila. She would use tarot cards and there was so much that she predicted that did come true. I firmly believe though that we are the masters of our own destiny. The paths are shown to us but it is up to us which one we take. There is a brilliant poem about this called ‘The Road Not Taken’ by Robert Frost, very similar to the film ‘Sliding Doors’ with Gwyneth Paltrow.

I think we all have a basic path in life. I just think some of us take the long way round.

Disclosure: In return for this post I was given an Argos voucher to treat my 43 year old self  

Digiprove sealCopyright protected by Digiprove © 2014 Victoria Welton

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9 Comments

  1. October 19, 2014 / 7:20 am

    A lot going on in your thirties then. A child, a new career and a new relationship!
    Erica Price recently posted..Week 42 of 2014My Profile

  2. October 18, 2014 / 11:29 pm

    What a post! Certainly fits into the ‘getting to know you better’ category! I posted on insta a week or so ago a quote I love, ‘the best way out is always through’. You’ve certainly gone through… And you’re out! Definitely no reason to cry about your 40s – you’re an inspiration!
    Steph @MisplacedBrit recently posted..Are you Starting Your Day off Right?My Profile

  3. October 18, 2014 / 10:02 pm

    Wow, your 30s really were challenging! So glad you took your long way round and everything is working out now for you, Grace and Ross. x
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted..Project 365: Week 42My Profile

  4. October 18, 2014 / 12:30 pm

    We are a very similar age – and I think life throws us all curve balls every now again. I always think you sound so on the ball (to keep the sporting metaphor) and kind, and funny and all the things that we should learn to be as we grow up. Hope our 40s are perhaps not as roller-coaster, but still fulfilling and fun. I feel I’ve got a long way to go before I feel like I’m not 17 any more…
    Sarah Ebner recently posted..Harry Potter, Platform 9 3/4 and the new King’s CrossMy Profile

  5. Izzie Anderton
    October 18, 2014 / 11:09 am

    Wow, your thirties were an emotional rollercoaster and still you found the strength to change career and move on in a difficult relationship. I like to think that we’re older and wiser in our forties and less likely to put up with things that aren’t going so well. Here’s hoping you have no regrets x
    Izzie Anderton recently posted..Ten Things my Daughters Wouldn’t Have Said Twelve Months AgoMy Profile

  6. Izzie Anderton
    October 18, 2014 / 11:03 am

    Wow, your thirties were such an emotional rollercoaster and yet, you stayed strong, found a new career and had a beautiful daughter. I like to think that we understand so much more in our forties and maybe that makes us less likely to put up with things that aren’t going so well. Here’s hoping you have no regrets x
    Izzie Anderton recently posted..Ten Things my Daughters Wouldn’t Have Said Twelve Months AgoMy Profile

  7. October 18, 2014 / 9:37 am

    I turned 30 in 2001 as well Vicky but I was already in the process of getting divorced. I’m relieved that I didn’t have children with my ex-husband but I didn’t then end up having children for another 8 years and I wish I’d made better choices and been in a place to start a family earlier. Having said that, I agree with you that some of us just take the long route to happiness! X
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  8. October 18, 2014 / 8:53 am

    That was certainly a roller coaster decade Vic! I think looking backis easier when you’re in a happier place than you were then – and happy is definitely how you seem now. Lovely post xx
    Karen Hannah recently posted..Kind Club: Week OneMy Profile

  9. October 18, 2014 / 12:41 am

    Those first couple of sentences made me take a walk down memory lane! Was it that long ago? All those events seem like they took place yesterday. 2001 is the year I moved to England. It is amazing how having out children, loving them and trying to give them te best life we can changes everything, isn’t it? You have had so many careers, you are brilliant! Xx
    Mel recently posted..Milk Protein ChallengeMy Profile

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