Women’s Aid – ACT NOW!

When I left my ex, not realising what I had been through, my wonderfully supportive Health Visitor gave me the details of an organisation called Women’s Aid. At the time I thought nothing of what I had been through, thinking I was ‘being silly’ but once I had answered a questionnaire provided to me by the Surrey branch of Women’s Aid, I realised that the problem was a lot more serious than I had first anticipated. The ladies who ran that helpline and my outreach worker who met up with me were amazing. They were reassuring and explained to me why I shouldn’t put up with what had happened to me. I deserved better.

When I joined their Freedom program course back in December 2007, I would come home with leaflets and information and my Mum also found them useful. My Dad had been very much the same toward her….worse in fact. The fact that he took her only mode of transport away when she needed to get to radiotherapy for her first diagnosis of breast cancer – let alone everything else he did to her – shocks and disgusts many people.

My fear now is for Grace and making sure that she doesn’t get herself in a similar situation to the one that both my Mum and I did. I hope that the fact that I left so early on is promising. The fact that Ross, my step-Dad Ian and Ross’ Father are such good male role models also gives me hope. But there is something else that can help.

On Tuesday June 11th there will be a vote in parliament for an amendment to the Children and Families Bill to include Sex and Relationship Education in the National Curriculum. If this amendment is carried, it will go into the Bill. This is vital to ensure that we change society’s attitudes toward relationships. It will help shape our children’s futures.

To learn more from the Women’s Aid ambassadors, please watch this short film:

Women’s Aid provide a free Educational tool kit called ‘Expect Respect’ which you can download here.

In the meantime, we need to try and get this Bill amended. In order to do that you need to lobby your local MP to ensure that they vote for this on Tuesday. Details on how to do this are here.

Let’s be the change we want to see in our children.


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    June 21, 2013 / 6:01 am

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  2. June 13, 2013 / 8:46 pm

    I’ve just found this post through Sonya’s Britmums piece. It’s very brave. I was SO saddened that the amendment was defeated. Incidentally, did you see the brilliant campaign @stellacreasy ran on this?
    Nell @ the Pigeon Pair and Me recently posted..Nice at the circusMy Profile

  3. Amanda Walters
    June 13, 2013 / 10:20 am

    This is great news, and something which should be highlighted. Great to know that there are people supporting those in times of need! Thanks for sharing.

  4. June 10, 2013 / 3:04 am

    This is a great post, Tori, thanks for highlighting this important bill. Having a daughter makes me think all the time of how best to teach her to be strong and to protect herself. Our children though will learn from us and what they see around us – and from our blog it sounds like your relationship and family are loving and happy. Xx
    Mama and more aka Zaz recently posted..I want my hat back – a tale of revengeMy Profile

  5. BlueBeretMum
    June 9, 2013 / 6:47 pm

    Thank you for sharing this and raising awareness – my mum was in a similar situation ages ago and in those times there was no help/support available. x

  6. Cathie B
    June 8, 2013 / 6:40 pm

    V – this is fabulous and I am so pleased that you got out of this awful situation. I think Grace, having you and your mum as such positive role models, along with Ross and his dad, will enable Grace to realise that a relationship is about love, trust and gentleness and not abuse whether it be physical, emotional or otherwise
    Having worked with Domestic Abuse victims for 8 years, I am so aware of the strength that both men and women have to find within themselves to speak out and admit that it is happening to them. This bill could go a long way to educate not only those who are victims but those whose only experience has been abuse, and who turn into the abusers.
    I will be doing all I can to support this.
    Much love xxxx

  7. June 8, 2013 / 6:28 pm

    Thank you for sharing this Victoria, it is so important that more of us realise what we deserve from our relationships, respect, acceptance, and love, for a start. I have shared “Marion’s story… how to find happiness” on my blog, which is also an inspiring read about how to find your way to happiness. I hope it’s ok to share it via this comment.

    With thanks and best wishes, Cat xx

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