I am royally pissed off. This week I have had ENOUGH! I am fucked off with working all the hours God sends in one form or another and STILL I am in debt. I am fed up with the people who seem to think I do nothing (blogging is the thing that keeps me sane at the moment).
Firstly, I am sick and tired of people not paying me on time – I am not running a shitting charity. I have bills to pay like everyone else and just because I am self-employed doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pay me for the service I am providing. The money I do spend goes on my car, fuel, food, general essential items but I am not able to afford clothes, shoes, make-up and music – all the things I would LIKE to spend my money on. I would understand it if I was in debt because of that – it would be my own bloody fault. I am not fat, I do not sit on my arse all day (unless you want to count sitting in a car teaching – and if you do, sod off!) and I always try my best. I may not always get things done quickly but I get there in the end. I want to stop coming runner up all the bloody time. I want to be FIRST. The first person, the important person, the wanted person. I want to have no conditions attached on the person that I am, so long as I am trying to be the best I can be.
Toward the end of last year, Ross and I helped a friend of ours to find a job. Ross guided them, got them an interview and, because he knew the company so well, he told them exactly how to conduct themselves to help them get somewhere. When they did the exact opposite to his advice and didn’t get asked back, they sent him an email. It didn’t say thank you, they didn’t take any responsibility, they werent grateful. Instead they basically said that the multi-million turnover, award-winning company was wrong and they could go fuck themselves. We have not spoken to them since despite Ross’ invitation to them to talk to him rationally. There are too many people in this day and age that think that the world owes them, that they deserve this, that and the other. No it fucking doesn’t! Get off your arse, stop expecting things to come to you and do something with your life!
Then there are the people who let their kids get away with everything and anything. Do you not understand that to form a decent person, you need to tell them ‘no’ sometimes? There are plenty of people I know who, as soon as their kids whine or cry, they give in to them. No wonder we have a culture of people thinking that the world owes them! The governments don’t help – they give people who don’t deserve it, money on a silver platter. I heard that the Government were going to make the people on benefits contribute toward their council tax. GOOD! So they ruddy should (and that comes from someone who has been on benefits). Instead of these people scrounging, buying fags, booze and HD televisions, they should take responsibility for their lives. Oh, and STOP giving the people who are in genuine need of benefits a bad name!!
I am fed up with other drivers who treat me and my learners like shit. They are so damned impatient that they can’t wait just for a minute when my learner stalls and needs to restart the car. Instead they sit there sounding their horn or try and overtake in the most idiotic of places. The other day I did a reverse round the corner with one of my learners. A driver came to turn into the road and, because she was so incompetent, she decided to park out on the main road and walked over to me and asked when we would be moving!!! She had plenty of room to get into the close that we were reversing into.
I can’t afford to go on holiday and don’t expect Ross to pay for any of this. I was better off financially when I lived on my own. Why is it that when I want to live and make a life with someone, it’s made harder? I have a child with another man who hardly pays anything to support her but expects to have all the perks and benefits of seeing her without the work of bringing her up and expects the man who is not her father (but acts far more like her dad than he does) to support her financially. If I stopped her father seeing her because of this and he took me to court, I….yes ME…..I would be in the wrong. Ross and I are the ones who do all the work, so we should be the ones who are the main beneficiaries.
People interfering in my life and relationship who don’t need to/shouldn’t/I don’t ask to be there – you can all go forth and multiply!
One more thing – there are too many people who need to learn how to spell!!! Spell bloody properly, you stupid idiots! Today alone I have seen ‘except’ instead of ‘accept’, ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’ and ‘their’ instead of ‘there’.
I am fed up with the continuous reminders of the mistakes I made coming back to bite me on the arse. I am a decent person. I pay my taxes, I work hard. I never wanted to be on benefits but when I needed them most, they let me down (a long story which I will share with you one day but at the time I did question the fact that If I wasn’t a caucasian British citizen, I would have got more help!). I don’t smoke, don’t drink much, am sensible and law-abiding.
There….I’m done. I rarely complain, moan or say anything (apart from stating when I am tired at home!) and I don’t normally swear on my blog but I needed to get it off my chest.
All I really want is a quiet, happy, secure life. Is that really too much to ask?