The Feeling of Detachment

Grace is currently on half term – plus she had an inset day last Friday when we went to stay with my mum for a couple of nights. It means that she has spent a lot of time with both Ross and I but, the other day, Grace told me that she needed to go back to school. She explained that she was feeling very clingy towards me and that may be she needed a bit of time away just to make sure that she wasn’t feeling like she was being too babyish…and… I got it. I knew exactly what she meant.

As she was going to bed that evening, Grace was in tears and, as her mum, I found it hard to leave her to go to sleep on her own. I comforted her as much as I could and I explained to her that there have been many times through my life when I suddenly felt that I needed my mum. That I wanted to be a child again and for her to make all the nasty stuff go away. Less so these days but I told her that I understood this feeling that drove deep into the pit of your tummy.

The Feeling of Detachment 

The emptiness, the coldness it chills me to my bones
I want my independence, yet I don’t want to be alone
The feeling of detachment feels just like ice and snow
I know I’m self-reliant, yet I don’t want to let you go

If only I were a child again, you would always be there for me
Sometimes I just need you there, despite the fact I’m free
This adult-responsibility is something that suddenly appeared
I do like being in control, but it’s also something that I feared

I want the comfort of my mum, but I want my latitude
I have no choice now, I need conviction in my fortitude
I know one day I can’t count on my mother and her cuddles
But I will remember her wise words to get me through my troubles

Victoria Welton 15th February 2017

Prose for Thought mumturnedmom
Digiprove sealCopyright protected by Digiprove © 2017 Victoria Welton

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6 Comments

  1. February 27, 2017 / 3:41 pm

    So, so true. And even though I’m well into motherhood, I still find myself saying, I need my mom. It’s tough. She’s still around, but as time marches on, we know it takes a toll on the body and mind. This was such a wonderful post and perfect timing for me to read. It’s nice to know you are in the boat with me. {visiting from the prompt}

  2. February 20, 2017 / 4:52 pm

    I think that this captures the struggle and the challenge of growing up so beautifully. The mum / daughter bond is so very special, and no matter how far we detach I don’t think that we are ever actually apart. Dx
    Rhyming with Wine recently posted..The Snail and the Fail.My Profile

  3. February 20, 2017 / 3:18 pm

    This is wonderful on so many levels, I think it’s one of your best. There are some things that simply don’t change however old or’grown up’ we become. You’ve captured that so brilliantly. Grace is a very sensible and mature girl to have that level of self-awareness, you should be very proud of her. Thank you so much for sharing with #ThePrompt x
    Sara | mumturnedmom recently posted..Reflections: Week 7My Profile

  4. February 16, 2017 / 7:58 am

    Bless her! She’s so grown up to think like that. We definitely all need our mums sometimes!
    My daughter is clingy and a bit babyish at home (you would never guess outside in the big, wide world!) and that’s fine. She will grow out of it when she’s ready to and she isn’t like it in public. I don’t think she has even considered whether it is right or wrong or normal!
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted..Being invested as a ScoutMy Profile

  5. February 15, 2017 / 7:21 pm

    I don’t think we’re ever too old to want our mums, and to feel like we need someone. Growing up is so hard… and bringing up our own children equally hard! Hugs to you both xx
    Steph Curtis recently posted..Tricky timesMy Profile

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