The BackStabbers #Prose4T

Over the weekend I nearly sat down to write a post about my paranoia on people talking about me my behind my back and caring too much about what people think of me. Then I got side-tracked and busy and so I forgot – so I guess it can’t really matter that much!  

I find it hard to make friends. For one reason or another, my trust issues come back to haunt me and I find it hard to really become close to someone. Over recent years, when I have formed a friendship, I have found that when something happens to shake the relationship, I am not sure how to cope. I find it can upset me for a very long time. If I believe I have made a mistake then I apologise but some people just don’t take sorry for an answer. I also apologise even if I believe I haven’t done anything wrong because I don’t like bad feeling. I try to smooth the ground over if there is sarcasm or with people who are jealous or snarky. In my opinion, you should be able to live and let live. Get on with one another. Know how to apologise as well as know how to forgive. Genuine mistakes are made and they aren’t always done on purpose. The trouble with all of this is that then you get walked on, so you can’t really win!

I regularly wonder whether it is me who has the issue or if I just go about choosing the wrong people! Either way, I am at an age now where I really can’t be arsed with childish games of he said/she said, back-stabbing and bitchiness. It is far easier to walk away and ignore it – although, at times, my moments of self-doubt do creep in again.

I am pleased to say that I am not experiencing any of these issues right now! I just used it as the inspiration for this week’s poem.

The Backstabbers

Uncertainty. How do you see me?
Are you just nice to my face?
Or are these niceties, the things I see,
Just something that has been displaced?

Because the backstabbers, attention-grabbers
I’m really not down with those
But if that is just you, and that’s what you do
There is nothing I can do I suppose

Offered the olive branch, tried to re-start the dance
I apologised for my part
It wasn’t enough, to get through your stuff
You really don’t have any heart

Live, and let live
Not just take, but give
I know I have done my best
But when you carry on, singing that song
I find it hard to get any rest

Victoria Welton 7th September 2016

Digiprove sealCopyright protected by Digiprove © 2016 Victoria Welton

Follow:
If you enjoyed this post, please share:

6 Comments

  1. September 12, 2016 / 5:14 pm

    Live and let live is the key here I think. I’m amazed sometimes how people have so many opinions on other people, where do they find the time? I know the aging process has made me far less interested in all this. Loved this verse in particular!
    Live, and let live
    Not just take, but give
    I know I have done my best
    But when you carry on, singing that song
    I find it hard to get any rest.

    Great to be back with # Prose 4 Thought after the summer hols x:)

  2. September 10, 2016 / 9:07 pm

    I’m pleased to hear that you’re not feeling like this at this moment in time Vicky, and that it was for inspiration. A great way with words and I got the impression from reading that you’ve no time for them and find them tiresome… but that you just can’t ‘live and let live’ deep down. Thanks for hosting #prose4t

  3. September 9, 2016 / 3:34 pm

    I’m so sorry you had to write a post like this. I have unfortunately come across this too many times now. My circle of friends is getting smaller and smaller all the time!

  4. September 8, 2016 / 12:09 pm

    I’m so glad that Prose for Thought is back and we are clearly having a weird kind of synchronicity here, because although I am not having any backstabbing moments right now, I too am thinking about how I’m really not good at friendship, and I find other people curious. All that stuff of what we think of others and what they think of us. And of course, our knowledge of ourselves is our starting place, so we paint ourselves on others, but I saw something this morning which said “I am not what you think I am. You are what you think I am.” And it made me wonder about all those people that I’ve been trying to hang out with but I can’t seem to join up to their conversations. I feel like a sinking stone in a skimming competition. I know they have whole lives, and are interesting, and I just don’t know them well enough, but there is something in me that can’t see them just now. Perhaps I just need to gather myself. Anyway, I am really glad that there are other people oversharing 😉 and I hope you understand my waffle! Thanks for having me back!

  5. September 8, 2016 / 10:43 am

    Live, and let live
    Not just take, but give

    A brilliant couplet with a lot of truth in it, Victoria. I feel the same way you do about making friends as well. I’m extremely introverted, so it takes me quite some time to connect with someone, if at all. I encountered people like the one you described as well, but like you said, there comes a point where I become too old to be dealing with childish behavior and petty games. I figured, time is short enough, i might as well surround myself with people who can actually make my life worthwhile, right? Thanks so much for sharing this with us this week! Always lovely to read your work 🙂

  6. September 8, 2016 / 6:41 am

    I’m sorry to hear that people treat you like this and it surprises me that you find it hard to make friends. You always seem such an outgoing person. It’s good that you’re going to rise above it all from now on. Life is too short for dealing with people who don’t care.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge