Reaching the decision to file a divorce is never an easy one; you know how many people it will affect both in the short and long term. Despite this, you need to ensure that your own future is a brighter one, which is why divorce can sometimes be the only solution that is right for you. The process can be made a bit more difficult when you have children (of any age) and you want to keep their best interests in mind and heart when making plans when you and your partner have legally separated.
Thankfully I was never married to Grace’s father – which of course in law has pluses and minuses – but my Mum was married to my Dad and I saw all the issues that she had to go through when I was a teenager. I thought it might be helpful for you if I shared a few of my tips, just in case you are feeling a bit lost with what to do next. Here are a few things you might want to consider when you have teenagers and want a divorce…
By this age, your children will likely be old enough to make their own choices, so you’ll need to ask them to decide who they will live with full time. There will be a number of things that affect their decisions, but it is important not to put any pressure on them to pick your home. You and your partner may want to seek the assistance of family law solicitors to get everything formalised through the courts, which could help to reduce disputes in the future. It is of course possible to reach an arrangement where your children spend a certain number of days with one parent and then the rest of the week with the other.
If you decide to move from the family home and your children also come with you to the new location, you’ll need to think about their schooling needs. How far will they be from their current school? Are they able to finish the year they are in before they transfer to another one? It can be difficult for kids to leave their friends, and it can also disrupt their studies, especially if they are going GCSEs or A-levels. if you have moved much further away you might not be able to avoid this, but just make sure that your children have access to services within their new school so they can quickly feel more at home.
Even though you may be feeling emotional yourself during this period, it is important to keep communicating with your children. Everyone has a different way of reacting to life-changing news, as well as handling it going forward. Let your kids demonstrate their emotions too, but also you should try and let them know that it isn’t their fault that you are getting a divorce. Things will get better in time, so just be there to support them as much as you possibly can.
Disclaimer: This is a guest post contribution in association with Quality Solicitors.