Grace has had us in hysterics more than usual this week. She is also starting to get rather stroppy when we laugh at her, which then means we laugh even harder! I think I’ll save the best – and most embarrassing from my perspective – funee until last today!
There has been a few one-liners:
At the ice rink they sell Slush Puppies – ‘Mum, can I have a Slushy Dog please?’
At a public toilets (from the cubicle VERY loudly) – ‘Mum, the people in this place are bonkers! Not only do they put up two rolls of toilet roll but they also roll them up into long thin bits of toilet roll!!’ (meaning tampons!!)
Getting really warm in the sunshine – ‘Do you want to feel how sweating I am?’
Seeing that the local park is not open due to building works and some children walking towards it – ‘Those kids going to the park are really busted!’
Telling Grace she was really naughty – ‘What?! I am Ross’ child!’
On Sunday, Grace decided to play a game of schools with me. She told me that I was the headteacher and she would be the teacher of Year 1. She explained to me that I was a Mrs because I had a boyfriend and she was a Miss because she didn’t. She pretended it was break time and came to chat to me but was interrupted by a call on her pretend mobile phone. She pretended to have a bit of a chat and then, coming off the phone, she punched the air and shouted ‘Yes!’ Is everything OK? I asked her. ‘Oh yes’ she replied ‘I’m going to be a Mrs from now on. This man has been asking me for ages to go out for a drink and I have decided to accept. I think I’ll ask him to marry me!’
Yesterday we were driving to London. The three of us were having a discussion and Grace explained that she and Ross were like polar bears because they never felt the cold. Then she turned to me ‘and Mum, you would not be OK in the North Pole. You are very, very hot’ she paused for a moment ‘and I mean that in the heat way, not like.like…like..like the teenage way!’
Finally, one morning last week we were all getting dressed ready for school and work. I went upstairs first and, as Ross and Grace, got to the top of the stairs, I had no clothes on. Ross commented that he could see my boobs. ‘Yeah’ said Grace matter-of-factly, ‘I used to drink from those….it was horrible’! Gee, thanks!
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